Gender roles

I was at Target with my sister, and my three boys. My sister found this darling "baby's first Christmas" outfit for her 6-month-old daughter, and immediately my boys were in a shopping mood. Kevin kept finding outfits for her and saying, "Look at this. It's gorgeous!" Then the twins joined in, "Wook a dat! Wook a dat! Go-jush!" As we were headed up to the check-out, we walked past the women's sleepwear section and Kevin spotted a babydoll style nightie. He got all excited and said, "Look at that dress! It even has those big bumps for girls! Baby Katelyn is a girl, we should buy her that dress." My sister and I were cracking up at the phrase "big bumps for girls." Several people passing by thought it was rather humorous also.

Is it really that hard to grasp?

Twins seem to baffle people sometimes. A few years ago we were waiting for our tax refund. We got our federal and then waited on the state refund. And waited and waited and waited. When I sent an e-mail to them, they replied that there was a problem with my return because of the stay-at-home-mom credit. There was this credit you could claim if you were a stay at home mom with a child under 12 months old. I had two children under 12 months, so we got to claim it twice. After I explained to them that we had twins, I think the reply was, “Well, you definitely deserve it then.”

Then this week the twins were in for their well-child visit. We had their iron tested afterward because there were some concerns about low iron. Turns out, Troy’s iron was low and Jonathan’s iron was very low. So they called in some prescriptions for me at my local pharmacy. When I called my local pharmacy to see if they were ready, Troy’s was ready but Jonathan’s wasn’t. I spoke to the pharmacist to see what the problem was and he said, “I don’t see any problem. I’ll have it ready for you, come on down.” So, I went down there. When I got there they were still acting baffled about something. Finally, the pharmacist asked me, “Are Troy and Jonathan related?” Yep, they’re twins. “So is there a reason that Jonathan’s dose is so much higher than Troy’s?” Yep, his iron was lower and he’s two pounds heavier. “Oh, that explains it.”

So that was the entire problem. They had two similar prescriptions for two children with the same last name and birthdate and couldn’t figure out why the doses would be different. This kind of thing happens all the time with the twins. We had problems getting them added to insurance because adding two children with the same birthdate sent their computers haywire. I guess I’m glad the pharmacy double checked because iron overdose can be extremely dangerous. But then I asked the pharmacist what I could put the iron drops in so that my boys will take it. Because I’m telling you right now there’s no way that they’re just going to drink down some iron supplement straight from the dropper. His reply: “Gee, that’s a good question.” Yes, I thought so too. That’s why I asked it. He finally said, “Well, orange juice would be best because of the vitamin C but I can’t imagine how that would taste.” Thanks pharmacist, you’ve been loads of help.

Apparently, iron deficiency is very common in twins. It comes from having to share womb time. When our pediatrician told us that, my husband said, “Yeah, I guess April just didn’t suck on enough rusty nails while she was pregnant.” So I said, “Yeah, next time I’m pregnant with twins you can run to the hardware store and get me some rusty nails.” Then our pediatrician said, “Next time you’re pregnant with twins you might be able to use the rusty razors that you tried to slit your own throat with.”

He’s such a funny guy.

Mob mentality

It’s an interesting phenomenon. Sometimes it’s called “herd behavior” or “crowd hysteria”. You get a large group of people together and they just go crazy. Individually, they may each be fine, upstanding citizens. Yet, when they’re put together in a large enough group, chaos ensues. Not every time obviously, but it happens.

Back when I was teaching junior high, I saw this a lot. I had some very large classes and they could easily get out of control if I let them. One of my best classes was symphonic band. It was an elective and the students had to audition to get in, so all of them really wanted to be there. The vast majority of them were A and B students, many in honors classes as well. Individually, each student in that class was very well-behaved, and I really enjoyed teaching them and interacting with them. In small groups. But when they were all together, they were so hard to deal with! Nothing malicious or anything like that, but so hyperactive and out of control! I learned quickly that even the very best of students, when put in a large group, could deteriorate into a herd of wild animals. I think that is one of the reasons that they tell you to deal with discipline issues individually with students. You have to separate them from the herd to get them back to their “normal” state of being.

I’ve discovered this to be true with my own small “herd” as well. Interacting with my sons one-on-one is a completely different story than when they’re all together. When I actually have a moment to be with just one of them I think, “Wow, you’re a pleasant child. How long have you been like this?” (Not when I’m dealing with a fit, mind you. Just normal, everyday interactions.) But when they’re together….

I’m reminded sometimes of a song from Disney’s “Pocahontas” (which the boys watched today):

Savages! Savages! Barely even human. Savages! Savages! Killers at the core. They’re different from us. Which means they can’t be trusted. Now we sound the drums of war!

So if you’re ever driving by my house, and you see me sitting all huddled up on the roof, don’t worry. I’m just hiding from the mob.

*Note: Obviously, they’re not like this all the time. Sometimes they play together very sweetly. For about 15 seconds.