What I learned from teaching middle school

I'm sure most people know that I taught middle school for three years before Kevin was born. Even though it was called a middle school, it was actually a junior high because it had grades 7-9, instead of the traditional 6-8 that a true middle school has.
Anywho... I remember one inservice we had where a professor came to tell us about the brain studies they have done on middle school age kids. The first surprising thing was that they actually do have brains! I know, shocker. One of the other things that helped shed some light was the discovery that the number of new connections and explorations being made in the middle schooler's brain is equivalent to that of a two year old. Those two times in life are when a person is the most inquisitive, the most daring, and the most anxious to try new things. It also leads to a lot of fits and tantrums. The other interesting discovery about middle schoolers' brains, was that the area of the brain used for judgment was equivalent to that of a schizophrenic. Which is why middle schoolers have such a hard time making good decisions. So the synopsis: middle schoolers are like schizophrenic two-year-olds.
After dealing with them raising my own toddlers should be easy! Well, not quite but here are some of the things I've learned that have helped me in my own family.

The Similarities:

• Seating charts are fantastic. You just have to find that magical combination where everyone is sitting by someone that will cause the least amount of disruptions. Very useful in the car, the dinner table, etc.
• Small children and middle school students have no concept of time. I use the same language to describe when things are happening to both groups. Such as, how many times we will all go to sleep and wake up before the concert day, the weekend, whatever. I also drew diagrams for the middle schoolers.
• They are less likely to get in trouble when they're busy.
• They are way easier to deal with one on one than in a big group.
• Sometimes the ones who cause the most trouble are also the ones who have a special place in your heart.
• Even after you've learned their names (or in the case of my own kids, named them myself) you still mix them up a lot.
• Policy, procedure, and routine are very important but sometimes hard to accomplish.
• Both situations have a case where you can appeal to a higher authority for discipline: "Don't make me send you to the office = Don't make me call your father."
• They can't tell when you're about to go ballistic. I actually learned this through another inservice. They really can't tell by your increasingly red face and the throbbing vein in your forehead that you're about to lose it. You have to actually say, "I am getting very angry and frustrated right now" for them to understand.
• When you're dealing with one, you have to think about what the rest are supposed to be doing, and what they are actually doing.

The Differences

• At home I have a smaller class size. Thank heaven.
• I also can't send them home at the end of the day. No saved by the bell here. Along the same lines, I don't switch up kids every 45 minutes.
• I am thrilled and excited when my own kids go to sleep. It is the main point to almost every day; making it until bedtime. It's also refreshing and a joy to see how sweet and innocent they look when they're sleeping. Teaching middle school, not so much. Teachers tend to want their students awake.
• Although I really grew to love a lot of my middle school kids, it's nothing like the love I feel for my own children.

I'm sure I could probably come up with more but I think the point I'm trying to make is this: I've learned about raising children in lots of different places and lots of different ways. The biggest lessons for me have come just by trial and error, but the biggest lesson I learned by teaching middle school is about the type of parent I want to be. I want to be the parent who knows the teachers and the teachers know me. I want to be there, volunteering, helping out, checking up on my children, because I've seen what a difference it makes when a teacher knows parents' faces, as well as their names. When I was teaching I was always astonished at how many parents had no idea what a powerful influence they could be. And that's my little soapbox so I will now step down.