The last few days seem to have been particularly trying with the kids. Maybe I’m just too tired or something, but I’ve gotten that overwhelmed feeling quite often.
Whenever I talk to others about feeling so overwhelmed, I generally hear something along these lines: “This time in their lives won’t last forever. They grow up so fast. Cherish these moments. Some day, you’re going to miss this.” And I know that’s absolutely true. There will come a day when these boys won’t want to talk to me beyond one syllable answers to questions (if that!) and I’ll wish that they were little again.
The only problem I have, is that the kind of advice I seem to be getting doesn’t really give me any specific help for right now. Honestly, it just makes me feel guilty that I’m not cherishing every precious moment. Somehow I need to find a way to enjoy the endless, whiny demands of a sweet little four-year-old and the endless trouble that the twins can get into.
Okay, I’ll admit it. A lot of times, the boys are hilarious! Which is what I try to remember more than the trying times, but the trying times sure seem to be plentiful as well. That being said, the other day I realized that although I won’t miss doing tons of laundry all the time, I will miss the click, click, click sound of the twins laundry in the dryer. Since everything they own is covered in snaps, it has a distinctive sound as it goes around in the dryer. Kevin’s laundry doesn’t make that sound any more.
How ironic of me to complain about the whininess of the kids and then write a very whiny blog entry! However, may I just say, that the one phrase I probably hear the most when I complain to someone is this, “I understand how you feel.” And perhaps that’s the most helpful.
7 comments:
I understand how you feel! And I have heard the same thing - enjoy them now because you'll miss this stage when it's gone. But I have never gotten any real advice on how to do that.
Sometimes I look at things from their perspective and understand why they thought it was a good idea to do the crazy things they do that make me want to scream. Sometimes I drop everything to just hug them. If you have an epiphany let us all know because we're all in the same boat on this one whether we have twins or not.
i also feel the same way as you april (as we've discussed so many times together as well!). i wish i'd have found the magic answer to enjoying this time in my children's lives as well, but i think (and this is from my own experience) if i have a week where i'm feeling constantly overwhelmed that usually means i'm overdue for a break. post a need on the babysitting website to farm the kids out for a couple of hours :) or sometimes, i just need to "plan" a day or a few hours where i just concentrate on having fun with the kids. doing something we all enjoy so i can remember to have fun with them as well. (if evan and i aren't getting along for a long period of time, i find a mommy/evan date does wonders for us both!)
Been there, done that! I DO know how you feel (or at least as close as I can - no twins here!) The demands of physically taking care of children are exhausting. I'm glad that you are getting a dinner/movie date with Steve. That will be good for you both. Re-focus, re-juvenate or just run away! Do what helps. It may take something different each time you get feeling overwhelmed. Remember that I am always here and want to do whatever I can. Love you all so much!!
Also, maybe you need that Ghost to come help you, too! Kevin may have the right idea.
Yuck! I do know the feeling. And I'm sure we will look back on this time with a certain amount of nostalgia, and that is why everyone tells you 'it will get better.' I am here to tell you that most days it super sucks. Kids suck the life right out of you and then chew on your hollow bones. They don't mean to, they just do. I think you do some things for yourself, but make sure you have time just for you to do something you're passionate about. (Music?) It is so discouraging. You can call me any day and we can just let them run amuck and eat chocolate and talk about how exhausted we are. Hang in there, you are totally my hero.
So do you want some advice from a wise and generous man?
Well I hope you find one…anyway if you’re up to it how
bout some advise from your old dad. You say you feel overwhelmed,
tired, that things seem trying. Well you should, any caring
parent that works as hard as you do would be tired too.
I’ve seen how hard you work and you are amazing. I have also tended your kids before and I am thinking of having those oxygen tanks like the NFL players have installed so I can try and keep up with them. You and Steve do a great job and are terrific parents. The standard advice of “cherish the moment” is actually good but does little for frayed nerves.
Try and take some time for yourself each day, and it may seem silly but don’t sweat the small stuff. When Grandpa Talbot used to give you guys ice cream for breakfast, or Grandma Talbot was teaching you how to play poker and 21, at the time it seemed a little much but now it is a cherished memory, and you guys seemed to have turned out all right. There were times I would have bet all you kids would end up on the endangered species list but somehow and someway you made it through. Keep doing what you are doing Baby girl and remember we are only a phone call away.
Love always, Dad
I can't wait till I am missing it! That's what we should all say next time someone says that! There are the wonderful moments, too, but, really, will anyone miss whining??? I don't think so!!!
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