When I go to church

A new year brings us a new church schedule. This year we get the 11-2, or what is referred to by some as the “celestial” schedule. I thought to myself, “This is great! I think we can actually be on time to church this year!” I even set out the boys’ Sunday clothes the night before to help us get to church on time.

Sunday morning, things were actually going great. Everyone was ready on time and we made it to the car without me screaming, “Everyone in the car NOW! We’re gonna be late!” We were even early to church. And that was the end of the happy feelings.

Kevin decided he wanted to sit on a middle bench, but the reason we don’t sit on a middle bench is because we need at least one wall to help corral the children. Last week we sat on a middle bench (because we were too late to snag one of the side benches) and it actually went okay, so I thought why not? Well, I’ll tell you why not. The twins immediately stood up on the bench and began sprinting back and forth and yelling with glee. While I tried to get them to sit down, Steve went to get a tithing envelope and Kevin followed. Steve came back and I said, “Where’s Kevin?” He said, “I don’t know. I didn’t know he came with me.”

So I went in search of Kevin and Steve watched the twins. Kevin came back in the chapel through the other door and while Steve was grabbing him, Jonathan made a break for the stand. Steve was able to get to him just as he got to the bishop, and while Steve was pulling Jonathan off the stand, Troy made a break for the door. A quick thinking friend grabbed Troy as she was coming in the door (a million thanks Mindi! How many times have you saved my bacon at church now?). By the time I came back, Steve was moving the family to a side bench. All of this happened before the prelude music even started.

As the bishop welcomed everyone to the meeting he said something like, “I’m glad so many could be here right when the meeting starts” and I’m almost positive I observed a very pointed glance toward our bench. I could just be imagining things though. The rest of sacrament meeting was filled with multiple trips to the foyer, mostly with Jonathan. Jonathan has also been more and more interested in going “potty” lately and at one point during sacrament meeting he took has pants off while saying, “Potty, potty, potty!” (Which actually sounds like paw-yee when he says it, but whatever, the meaning is clear.) A little girl on the bench behind us asked at one point, “When is this gonna be over?” I thought, “Good question.”

I got to primary and the primary secretary asked me, “Are your twins still alive?” She had observed our many trips in and out of the chapel. Primary did cheer me up a little though. During sharing time the question was asked, “Who’s in charge at your house? Who’s the boss?” and Kevin replied, “My grandpa choo-choo doesn’t have any hair.” Okay.

But then we got home and the fighting started. Kevin and Jonathan were fighting over this one toy so much that I finally lost it and grabbed the toy away from both of them and threw it out on the front lawn. A poor choice on my part because later I had to go traipsing through the snow to bring the toy back in. Don’t you just love Sundays?